I’m Just not attracted to her
by Michael Lawrence
How many times have I talked to a single guy who wants to get married, only to hear him say that he knows lots of great women? He admits these women have godly characters and fantastic personalities. But he’s not dating any of them. When I ask why not, the reply comes with a sigh. "I’m just not attracted to them." Pity the single Christian man with high standards and good taste. He can’t help it he’s single. The godly women he knows just aren’t beautiful enough.
This is not just a Christian problem. Debra Dickerson, an African-American writer for Salon magazine, reflected on her sense of sadness after watching the brazenly crude and essentially misogynistic movie, The Wedding Crashers. (It came out a couple of years ago, and I sincerely hope you didn’t see it.) Was she depressed at the way women were viewed simply as objects of lust, trophies to be won, conquests to be notched? Unfortunately not. She was depressed because, "by the end of the parade of weddings crashed and women laid, the crashers had seduced their way through every culture and every ethnicity but mine…. Why didn’t they want to seduce me, too?" she asks. The answer, left painfully unspoken, was that they didn’t find her ethnicity beautiful. While the judgment that black is not beautiful is patently false, that knowledge did not ease Dickerson’s pain at being implicitly labeled "undesirable."
(more…)
Ladies, here is a Christmas present to you. These are further reflections from Dan Wold at The Roof Guys about this topic of physical beauty versus inner beauty. All I could say was a quiet "amen" when I read what he wrote. I’m sure you will be as moved as I was. Well done, Dan! May the Lord give you much favor as you influence other men through your blog. Here’s an excerpt from what he wrote:by Carolyn McCulley
Do not let your adorning be external–the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing–but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.–1 Peter 3:3-4
(more…)
I thought it interesting when i came across these and the latin words to explain.
Lust is luxuria.
Gluttony is gula.
Greed is avaritia.
Sloth is acedia.
Wrath is ira.
Envy is invidia.
Pride is superbia.
I really cannot tahan, seeing people bring posers and fakers, trying to be "cool", copying what the "cool" people do. Running their whole life round and round trying to get all these useless things, doing useless stuff and humans gladly revolve their lives around it. Its like closing your fist around sand or trying to grasp water. Practically useless. What’s cool anyway?
What defines cool?
I tell you where your treasures are, there your heart is.
Where you put importance, where you give priority in your life, that’s what "cool" is to you.
Who you look up to, the kind of people you’re trying emulate, that’s who you’ll be.
So what is more important than making sure which "coolness" is the right "coolness" to follow?
So what is the RIGHT coolness?
Is it clubbing, partying, drinking, smoking, dressing like its too hot to have ANY clothes on, the labels you wear? The list could go on and on and on, but there’s a reason why Vanity, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Envy and Pride take up 6 of the 7 Deadly Sins AND they’re called the DEADLY sins for a reason too.
Isn’t it a real waste of life?
You can’t take these things with you when you die and they are seen as little to no value in the eyes of God. So why set store by earthly things when you should be store up for ourselves treasures in heaven?
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal" (Matthew 6:19-20).
I don’t want to get to the end of my one and only life to realize that i’ve wasted it.
I mean, come on! Everyone wants their life to be of some importance, a life that counts, that MATTERS. But how do you live a life that counts?
It boils down to what on earth are you on earth for. Isaiah 43:6-7 makes it clear that God created us for this purpose : to glorify Him. We were designed to make much of God. In other words, you exist to point praise and glory to God.
So…
Do all the clothes in your closet help you in your life purpose to glorify God?
Does all that alcohol gather up worth in heaven?
Do you want to get to the end of your life and find that you’ve wasted it?
I don’t want to, and hopefully, i won’t.
I think i can safely answer these two questions with one [stone]. Living a life that glorifies God, that’s what we who profess the faith should aim to do. So in everything that we do, be it the clothes we wear, the money we handle, or our entertainment, we should aim to glorify God. The choices you make in the gray areas should reflect your concern not to bring offense to God’s reputation but to bring Him praise instead.
(more…)
Let’s be honest. We’re men, and we’re responsible for ourselves. We’re responsible for our thoughts, for our lusts, for our character. We won’t be able to blame the girls when we’re called to give account for it in the judgment day. We won’t be able to say like Adam, “The woman you made…” In fact, the Bible warns us that if our eyes are causing us to offend, it would be better to pluck it out than to allow it to lead us astray. Now you girls don’t want that to happen… Please? We are responsible for bringing these senses into subordination to the will of God. We’re trying. And we get tested every day. That’s our job wherever we are, whether in the world or in church. But quite honestly, we’d rather do our battles with the world than with our sisters in Christ.
by Alex Harris
A common misconception regarding the command to be “salt” is the idea that it means that we’re to give the world flavor. Christians make the world taste good. However, while salt was used to flavor foods at the time of Christ, this was not its primary purpose. Rather, in a time before refrigeration, pasteurization, and pressure cooking, salt was highly valued as a preservative. A little salt rubbed into meat would slow decay. Our calling as Christians is not just to make the world taste good, but more importantly, to preserve it. As rebelutionaries, we are called to fight against the push of our culture towards moral and intellectual depravity. We must do this individually and corporately; if we lose our saltiness, we accomplish nothing; if we are isolated, we accomplish nothing.
The command to be “light” is also open to misconception. One common misconception is the notion that being a light involves being very careful not to draw attention to yourself, but just standing around and letting your little light shine, wherever you happen to be. But this is the exact opposite of the examples used by Christ. “A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.” If you’re traveling nearby at night, you cannot help but see it. It arrests your attention. In the same way, a lamp set on a stand lights up the entire house. Light is incredibly invasive. Our calling as Christians is not only to shine our light brightly, but most importantly, to do so in such a way and in such an arena that we cannot be ignored. Again, we must do this individually and corporately.
by Carolyn McCulley
QUESTION: Where does contentment fit in with issues of looks and appearance? I’ve been dealing with different bouts of discontentment with looks and my figure. Eating too much, then too little, running and exercising, and just a general obsession that steals the joy out of my Christian life. I’m thinking, "Hmm, should I eat more of this, less of this, exercise more?" The problem is real and I’m not sure how Christ fits into this. I wonder what freedom would look like?
(more…)
I recently learnt some things from the article about the dangers of dating in your mind and from John Piper’s Speak Truth with your Neighbour that DESIRE is a perfectly normal thing.
It is perfectly normal and perfectly fine.
It is an okay thing.
It’s good to desire.
However, it is when DESIRE becomes a DEMAND, things start getting dangerous.
The thing that makes desires bad is when they come from deceit.
When desire goes after wrong things, becoming an, "I Must.." then it becomes a bad desire.
When it becomes an absolute must to have what you desire, you have been deceived about what is TRULY desirable.
Continuing from that, the DEMAND creates an expectation.
Expecting to get what you desire, when that DEMAND is not fulfilled, it results in DISAPPOINTMENT.
—
Seeing all that, the way to avoid this DISAPPOINTMENT, is to hold DESIRE with an open hand.
DEMAND is to close your fist over DESIRE.
When you find your fist closing over your good desires and making them demands, STOP.
Open that clenched fist and hold that desire up in prayer.
Please remember: Only Questions here. Once there is an answer, copy and paste the question into a separate post and note the answer there. Tick question once answered.
A starving (okay!) not-so-starving artist, a fashion student, a crafty cat, a FunkyMonkey
I do not presume to know about a lot of things. I merely wish to promote good discussion about some topics that tickle my curiosity. I may be right or i may be wrong, but then, that's my prerogative, isn't it? *grin*
